August 14, 2017
From Disordered to Holistic
Hi my name is Alisha, and I want to share my story with you. It is a story about learning self awareness, strength and peace. It has made me who I am today and allowed me to flourish into who I want to be.
My story starts off kind of in the middle at the age of 22 when I was disgnosed by my therapist with a binge eating disorder. I had unknowingly suffered with constant episodes of binging and restricting since I was 11.
What this had done to my health was:
- Yo-yo’d my weight until I had gained an excess of 60lbs within a year in my senior year
- Prevented me from playing sports due to anxiety about my weight
- Brought on an addiction to sugar
- Caused adult acne, that I constantly had to cover with makeup
- Forced me to eat in solitary due to the social anxiety I developed
- Food no longer smelled because I was constantly over fed
Being diagnosed with one of the most unknown eating disorders was such a relief. Because I now had an opportunity to find a solution. I worked with my therapist to find more self awareness and what my triggers were.
My self awareness techniques included:
- Journaling at the end of the day about the fails I had and how I could change them into wins
- Recognizing how I felt before I became anxious and removed myself from the situation
- Looking at past experiences and remembering the how and why I felt that way and finding a pattern to correct
- Remembering what the facts are and living in the present. No dwelling on the what if’s or the past
Three months into my treatment I decided to go vegan. Now, this isn’t something that everybody can do or should do during the recovery but it is what worked for me. And it led me to educating myself about how the body works and the impact my emotions, my spirit and choices had on my being. When I also became aware of how other people’s emotions and choices affected me I was able to learn how to control my reaction to them. I can now say that my recovery isn’t over but I am 110% more happy than I have ever been in my entire life.
I have learned to nourish my mind, body and soul with food, lectures and podcasts and I now understand that self-care is not selfish, it is essential. I have come to peace with who I was and who I am becoming.
What I have learned:
- My anxiety is my teacher not my enemy
- Exercising the mind is just as important as the body
- Your mind needs rest and I am learning this through meditation
- Hunger is welcomed
- Whole foods nourish the body which makes me feel whole
- Therapy is the best thing
- Everybody deserves help regardless if you’re not as sick as someone else
I am grateful for what I’ve learned and I hope to share my story and help others realize their body and mind is not the enemy. That if more self-love could take place in the world it would be a better, happier place.
Because no matter who you are, what you’ve done or gone through you deserve to love yourself.